Human Conversation Magnet
Maybe it’s my bright booger-green earplugs that makes me look like Shrek.
Maybe it’s the countless threads of useless law facts sprawling all over my desk and around my neck waiting for the perfect moment to asphyxiate me.
Maybe it’s the random bouts of hyperventilating fits I have every so often while sitting amongst a sea of yuppies sipping their double-non-fat-extra-shot-no-foam-extra-hot-vanilla toffee peppermint lattes.
Whatever the reason, I am a human magnet for unwanted conversation.
Lawyers see my bar review books and they come up to me to give me tips on how to pass the bar. The conversation will inevitably turn into an ego fest of their accomplishments and how they did it. Oh yeah? Well you can shove your tips up your…As for me, I don’t see how telling someone that “practice is the key” 5 days before the bar helps any.
Aspiring young law student come to me wide eyed and naïve, begging for my wisdom on anything about law school. My advice? GET OUT GET OUT NOW! RUN MISLEAD YOUNGIN RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNN!!!!!
They don’t listen. And I’ve just wasted 15 minutes in which I could have done at least 3 multiple choice questions.
I picked up this old lady’s keys. She then talked to me for about 15 minutes. She told me how her daughter passed the bar despite having a baby at home and told me that it’s not that hard and that I’ll do fine.
A random stranger, STRANGER, shouted at me half way across the room today in these words, “GO HOME! IT’S SUMMER!” First of all, that is just rude. Second of all, in my hypersensitivity, all I saw was red and I wanted to lunge at him with my pencil to gouge his eyes out with it.
Do you want a date? A husband? A friend? A mentor? A mentee? Just put in some ugly butt earplugs and have barbri books all over you, you will get a date, a husband, a friend, a mentor, and a mentee within the hour, guaranteed.
In fact, I have my Barbri books for sale. $500.00 for the entire set and I’ll even throw in some booger-green ear plugs.
Seriously, post here and I’ll call or email you.
No, seriously, they are for sale, I never want to see them again.
Ever.
Maybe it’s my bright booger-green earplugs that makes me look like Shrek.
Maybe it’s the countless threads of useless law facts sprawling all over my desk and around my neck waiting for the perfect moment to asphyxiate me.
Maybe it’s the random bouts of hyperventilating fits I have every so often while sitting amongst a sea of yuppies sipping their double-non-fat-extra-shot-no-foam-extra-hot-vanilla toffee peppermint lattes.
Whatever the reason, I am a human magnet for unwanted conversation.
Lawyers see my bar review books and they come up to me to give me tips on how to pass the bar. The conversation will inevitably turn into an ego fest of their accomplishments and how they did it. Oh yeah? Well you can shove your tips up your…As for me, I don’t see how telling someone that “practice is the key” 5 days before the bar helps any.
Aspiring young law student come to me wide eyed and naïve, begging for my wisdom on anything about law school. My advice? GET OUT GET OUT NOW! RUN MISLEAD YOUNGIN RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNN!!!!!
They don’t listen. And I’ve just wasted 15 minutes in which I could have done at least 3 multiple choice questions.
I picked up this old lady’s keys. She then talked to me for about 15 minutes. She told me how her daughter passed the bar despite having a baby at home and told me that it’s not that hard and that I’ll do fine.
A random stranger, STRANGER, shouted at me half way across the room today in these words, “GO HOME! IT’S SUMMER!” First of all, that is just rude. Second of all, in my hypersensitivity, all I saw was red and I wanted to lunge at him with my pencil to gouge his eyes out with it.
Do you want a date? A husband? A friend? A mentor? A mentee? Just put in some ugly butt earplugs and have barbri books all over you, you will get a date, a husband, a friend, a mentor, and a mentee within the hour, guaranteed.
In fact, I have my Barbri books for sale. $500.00 for the entire set and I’ll even throw in some booger-green ear plugs.
Seriously, post here and I’ll call or email you.
No, seriously, they are for sale, I never want to see them again.
Ever.
posted by J @ 11:36 PM
2 Comments:
At 10:16 AM,
Maria Elisa said…
Hmmm. I think you are just a person magnet period. It is all that personality.
At least you are not a stalker or stupid guy magnet.
At 9:13 PM,
J said…
bu..but that's just it! random strangers usually don't talk to me at Starbucks when I don't have the books and the earplugs.
I am sad though, because in any other circumstance I would've loved to chat with them. I love talking with people. But right now it's just a liability. All that good opportunity to make good friends... *sigh*
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