Edification

Speaking to Chris today made me realize that some of my recent postings may have been just a tad macabre, speaking specifically of the post on dead bodies. The said post was actually not an attempt to shock, but a written attempt at a visual imagery of an underlying epiphany I had after being acquainted with so many dead bodies. But since I obviously failed at explaining myself in the last posting, here it is again, the edifying part:

When you see actors portraying dead bodies, you still see life in their eyes, no matter how lifeless their limbs may seem. When you see a real dead body, you see that life had fled from them. That is, whatever it is that makes you who you are - your personality, your integrity, your beliefs, everything about you that’s precious and of any value is snuffed out. What’s left of you is your mortal coil, defenseless to time, decaying at a rapid speed into the earth.

I stood amidst dead bodies thinking: This is it? This can’t be it. Despite my Christian background and upbringing, I knew that what I was sensing must be universal, for that overwhelming feeling hit me without any connection to Christian creed, but it was rather an elephant in the room that no one could ignore.

It would be unsatisfying, (to say the least) to think that you are made of various scientific synapse walking the earth, only to disappear without a trace after death. Even scientific minded individuals agree that energy does not disappear, it transforms. So where did you go? You, the soul, the life force, the animator of your mortal coil, where are you now? Are you satisfied to think that you’ve left with nothing? That you have no where to go but in the company of maggots? Whatever it is that you believe in, the universe was shouting. It was shouting that we must go somewhere and that who we are and what we are do not just simply disappear as if we never mattered.

I for one am glad, because I know that we are cared for. I know that we have a loving God and that we matter to him, in life as well as in death. We are sons and daughters, and we do not cease to be sons and daughters when the stench of death clings on to us. I knew this to be true, and now this truth is even more tangible to me, and the sense of fearlessness palpable. Fearless because I know that our God has conquered death, and as such, I know that we are bigger than that rotting pile of flesh carelessly stored, gutted, and poked, but that we will always matter. What we’ve created will always be there, for our treasures are stored in heaven, and we will always be loved.

So while death will one day overcome you on earth, it will never become you; for your creator has conquered death, a long time ago before you were born.