I just paid $648.00 to the state bar.
My bar review course will cost me $3,000.
By the end of next year I will be more than $100,000 in debt.
A debt that will take approximately 30 years to pay off.
I don’t have a job yet.
And what I want to do don’t pay much.
I just had the daunting realization that I will never be rich on my own. I don’t know how I’m going to pay off my loans and feed myself, let alone a family. I just realized that the only way I can have enough money to support me, my family, and my dream of taking care of my parents will come only if the person I will marry will supplement my income.
He will most likely be making three times more than me.
He will in fact, be supporting me.
I should be happy.
BUT
I am instead disturbed on a very deep level.
The Gloria Steinem in me just turned over and died.
My bar review course will cost me $3,000.
By the end of next year I will be more than $100,000 in debt.
A debt that will take approximately 30 years to pay off.
I don’t have a job yet.
And what I want to do don’t pay much.
I just had the daunting realization that I will never be rich on my own. I don’t know how I’m going to pay off my loans and feed myself, let alone a family. I just realized that the only way I can have enough money to support me, my family, and my dream of taking care of my parents will come only if the person I will marry will supplement my income.
He will most likely be making three times more than me.
He will in fact, be supporting me.
I should be happy.
BUT
I am instead disturbed on a very deep level.
The Gloria Steinem in me just turned over and died.



2 Comments:
At 10:50 AM,
Gustad said…
dont worry, it's ok to have somebody support you... at least you're trying and will be supplementing
At 10:44 PM,
J said…
Thanks Gustad. I guess I just always assumed that I could be superwoman doing everything. I suppose I am just human after all =)
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