I AM DONE!

I'M DONE I'M DONE I'M DONE I'M DONE I'M DONE!!!

NO MAS!

it's great how we give up life for 3 months only to have our brains raped for 6 hours by the bar

*strike that. 6 hours? i mean 18 hours

ASIANS?

The man who yelled at me to go home was at Starbucks again. This time, he shouted at me, K, and M, “you ASIANS study too much! What are you trying to do? Run the world?”

The next morning, M asked me if the man above might be at Starbucks again. Trekking a backpack full of heavy books, I shot a look at M as I opened the door to Starbucks and said, “The bar exam is a day away, I don’t have the mental fortitude to deal with racism right now, so he can just suck it.”

1 one thousand, 2 one thousand, 3 one thousand, 4 one thousand, 5 one thousand…

We arrive at our usual table. A large white man sitting in the chair next to our table puts his newspapers down and exclaimed, “ASIANS? With your books and bags, so serious!”

did that really just happen?

He didn’t know the meaning of “shuttfup” and continued to K, “I knew a couple of ASIANS once, at the Hastings Law School”

He’s a lawyer? he’s an educated man?

“Yeah, they got in through those ‘affirmative action’ programs, you know, and a year later they were all on law review and I wasn’t! Can you believe that? And I thought, there’s something wrong here. Are you on law review?”

K said no.

“No? why not? Why aren’t you? Why?”

because I split my time between law school and building the railroad, that’s why.

Imagine walking into a coffee shop and saying to three people,

“BLACKS? Hey I knew a black person once! She got into LAW SCHOOL and ACTUALLY ended up doing really well! Isn’t that weird? By the way, got rhythm much? Can you dance for me? I hear your people do that well!”

Or,

“MEXICANS! Taking a break from picking strawberries are we?”

People would never say the above, but it is somehow acceptable with Asians that they can do it with a smile. It's all the "model minority" BS. But I don't have the time to get into that discussion right now, I've got to put on my cone hat and get back to working at the rice paddy.

Studying Too Much Frys Your Brain

I am 8 hours into my non-stop studying marathon for the day. I read a question that says, “The state of East Rabbit’s Foot enacted a statute whereby all organizations must obtain a permit before engaging in any pah-rah-dee…”

huh?

I read the word again… pah-rah-dee. What is pah-rah-dee? What does that mean?? It’s a vocabulary that I don’t know! Is it a term of art that I haven’t learned???

I look up to the Starbucks ceiling (the closest thing I get to looking up at the sky) to search for any hint of divine inspiration.

Don’t panic, be cool, be cool, just consult your Conviser Mini Review and everything will be just fine.

I take a deep breath, and after 5 minutes of conscious deep breathing I look at the question again.

“The state of East Rabbit’s Foot enacted a statute whereby all organizations must obtain a permit before engaging in any parade.”

...

Human Conversation Magnet

Maybe it’s my bright booger-green earplugs that makes me look like Shrek.

Maybe it’s the countless threads of useless law facts sprawling all over my desk and around my neck waiting for the perfect moment to asphyxiate me.

Maybe it’s the random bouts of hyperventilating fits I have every so often while sitting amongst a sea of yuppies sipping their double-non-fat-extra-shot-no-foam-extra-hot-vanilla toffee peppermint lattes.

Whatever the reason, I am a human magnet for unwanted conversation.

Lawyers see my bar review books and they come up to me to give me tips on how to pass the bar. The conversation will inevitably turn into an ego fest of their accomplishments and how they did it. Oh yeah? Well you can shove your tips up your…As for me, I don’t see how telling someone that “practice is the key” 5 days before the bar helps any.

Aspiring young law student come to me wide eyed and naïve, begging for my wisdom on anything about law school. My advice? GET OUT GET OUT NOW! RUN MISLEAD YOUNGIN RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNN!!!!!

They don’t listen. And I’ve just wasted 15 minutes in which I could have done at least 3 multiple choice questions.

I picked up this old lady’s keys. She then talked to me for about 15 minutes. She told me how her daughter passed the bar despite having a baby at home and told me that it’s not that hard and that I’ll do fine.

A random stranger, STRANGER, shouted at me half way across the room today in these words, “GO HOME! IT’S SUMMER!” First of all, that is just rude. Second of all, in my hypersensitivity, all I saw was red and I wanted to lunge at him with my pencil to gouge his eyes out with it.

Do you want a date? A husband? A friend? A mentor? A mentee? Just put in some ugly butt earplugs and have barbri books all over you, you will get a date, a husband, a friend, a mentor, and a mentee within the hour, guaranteed.

In fact, I have my Barbri books for sale. $500.00 for the entire set and I’ll even throw in some booger-green ear plugs.

Seriously, post here and I’ll call or email you.

No, seriously, they are for sale, I never want to see them again.

Ever.

Best Pals

2004 Clay Station Viognier and ripe strawberries.

Oh-Mi-Gawd it is so good!

Go!

Try!

Now!

What a Waste of Time

I used to run to video stores to rent movies such as Monsters Inc and movies with little mermaids in it. I also used to talk really loudly to whom ever I was with while checking out the above mentioned movies saying things like, “OH, I’ll bet LITTLE Rachel would LOVE this!”

Why do I that? Because people laugh at me. That’s why.

Well, I watched a grown-up movie today. I watched Basic Instincts 2 and I don’t care if I never watch another grown-up movie ever again. It was

SO.

BAD.

Rotten tomato gave it a 6%. Um, excuse me, who was the guy in the coma that gave it a thumbs up? 6%? How about -6%?

The bottom line is: there is a difference between seeing a woman as sexually powerful and seeing her as a diseased STD, AIDS infested transportation vehicle (just think Paris Hilton). Granted I don’t remember much about Basic Instincts 1 and granted I only saw the TV edited version of the film, but I remember walking away thinking that Sharon Stone was sexy.

Well, no more. And it is not her age; she looks fabulous for her age. It’s that having sex with 50 random people that you meet in a brothel is very, very, gross. Not to mention insanely irresponsible.

I can’t believe I wasted two hours of my free time when I could be watching Nanny McPhee (for the third time).

You know what, I am not going to hide behind my baby cousin anymore. I LIKE Monsters Inc., I LIKE Nanny McPhee, I LIKE the Amazing Panda Adventure, and YES Bambi 2 IS on my blockbuster shipping queue. YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT???

My name is Jean and I have a 6 year-old inner child and by God I LIKE IT!

PS: Nanny McPhee is excellent. Really REALLY excellent. Go rent it; really, you’ll love it even if you don’t have an inner child. I promise.

Israel and Lebanon are committing acts of war against one another.

North Korea is firing missiles at us.

Terrorists are bombing commuter trains in Mumbai.

Iran is refusing to give up enriched uranium.

All I can say is world war III better not start while I’m studying for the bar.

At least wait until after I come back from Costa Rica.