In light of the Beniffer break-up, I have been inspired to write a list of celebrities I simply cannot stand:

1. Jennifer Lopez: pssst JLo, news flash… YOU CAN’T SING!!!

2. Britney Spears: rubbing yourself everywhere in the midst of an orgy of men setting feminism back 50 years singing “I’m a slave for you” is a mockery.

3. Josh Harnett: for no other reasons really, he just has that inexplicable “ick factor”. Whenever I see his face I always see the invisible words “punch me” written on his forehead…

4. Paris Hilton: why does she always have that plastered look on her face? She should take a stroll on the heights of Mount Helicon and look at her own reflection in the spring, she just might turn into one of those flowers she loves to put on her head so much.

Disclaimer: this list does not employ the reasonableness-standard-objective list (although it should be), it is purely subjective that’s not meant to offend, insult, or affront anyone. And if you think I sound harsh, bitter, and disgruntled, that’s only because I just got back my grades for the first semester, cheers!