Cuteness, Pure Cuteness

Look at how CUTE this is!!! The baby panda cub (It's a girl!!!) is sleeping by the mommy panda's neck, do you see it? It's that cute furry little thing with her head burried in her mom's neck and her cute little butt sticking out! She is soooo cute! I love pandas!!!

Verdict: Death

The case of People v. Morales was resolved today. The defendant, Alfonso Ignacio Morales, received the death penalty on 4 counts of murder with special allegations. The link provides the gist of the story as it happened more than 3 years ago. Morales slashed Mr. Ruiz's throat, stabbed his wife 42 times, stabbed the invalid 75 year old grandmother to death, and then raped the 8 year old little girl and drowned her in a bathtub (he also mutilated the little girl's genitals, which suggests sexual torture). The pictures of the victims in this case are the ones that I've seen. They are the ones that I've had nightmares of. I feel tremendous sadness for the victim's family, for whatever justice they get from the justice system (even the utmost severe of punishment) must seem to be of small comfort compared to what they've lost. It is a sad and weighty day for all of us, as while Morales deserves everything he gets, the thought of killing a human being weighs heavy on my mind, despite the fact that I do not object to the death penalty.

Hooked and Addicted

I don’t know how to describe this feeling, there are no words, you’ve just got to try it. It’s like ascending the tracks of a rollercoaster ride, suspended in the moments before you’re about to drop from the air. A thousand African sogo drums pounded in my chest while hundreds of butterflies tumbled in my stomach; I waited on the edge of my seat for the verdict. The court clerk read it out loud, “People v. *McWane, the people find the defendant, guilty of second degree robbery.” The rollercoaster car dropped on the 90 degree angled track, went back up, then dropped again. My expression remained stoic as the bailiff remanded the defendant in handcuffs to state prison.

It all started when Phil took the time and effort to give me a felony trial. The first one that he gave me never started because the defendant plead open literally 2 minutes before I was about to deliver my opening statement. But this one went to trial. This one I actually got up in front of 12 expressionless jurors to deliver my opening statement, trying constantly to decipher the emotions of the jurors, to see how the trial is really going. This one I did the direct examination of the witnesses. And on the morning of the last day of the trial, Phil called me into his office and said, “you’re giving the closing too, go prepare, you have an hour.” At the conclusion of the trial we went downstairs to wait for the verdict. It took the jurors 10 minutes to decide. 10 minutes later Phil called me from Department N, voice softly saying, “We have a verdict, come to court.” I jumped out of my seat, ran around like a headless chicken, shouting, “We have a verdict we have a verdict” to my office mates, and ran in my very uncomfortable high heels to the elevator and up to Department N. The rest is, as they say, history.

This is by far the coolest thing I have ever done. The adrenalin high lasted for the rest of the day and the day after that. This must be what it feels like to be on drugs, the euphoria I felt is indescribable. I am now and forever hooked on this thrilling rush, and it's an addiction that I do not want to give up.

I am so grateful that someone took the time, energy, and efforts to give me this opportunity. I will never forget this, and I will always be thankful.

*Name changed

Edification

Speaking to Chris today made me realize that some of my recent postings may have been just a tad macabre, speaking specifically of the post on dead bodies. The said post was actually not an attempt to shock, but a written attempt at a visual imagery of an underlying epiphany I had after being acquainted with so many dead bodies. But since I obviously failed at explaining myself in the last posting, here it is again, the edifying part:

When you see actors portraying dead bodies, you still see life in their eyes, no matter how lifeless their limbs may seem. When you see a real dead body, you see that life had fled from them. That is, whatever it is that makes you who you are - your personality, your integrity, your beliefs, everything about you that’s precious and of any value is snuffed out. What’s left of you is your mortal coil, defenseless to time, decaying at a rapid speed into the earth.

I stood amidst dead bodies thinking: This is it? This can’t be it. Despite my Christian background and upbringing, I knew that what I was sensing must be universal, for that overwhelming feeling hit me without any connection to Christian creed, but it was rather an elephant in the room that no one could ignore.

It would be unsatisfying, (to say the least) to think that you are made of various scientific synapse walking the earth, only to disappear without a trace after death. Even scientific minded individuals agree that energy does not disappear, it transforms. So where did you go? You, the soul, the life force, the animator of your mortal coil, where are you now? Are you satisfied to think that you’ve left with nothing? That you have no where to go but in the company of maggots? Whatever it is that you believe in, the universe was shouting. It was shouting that we must go somewhere and that who we are and what we are do not just simply disappear as if we never mattered.

I for one am glad, because I know that we are cared for. I know that we have a loving God and that we matter to him, in life as well as in death. We are sons and daughters, and we do not cease to be sons and daughters when the stench of death clings on to us. I knew this to be true, and now this truth is even more tangible to me, and the sense of fearlessness palpable. Fearless because I know that our God has conquered death, and as such, I know that we are bigger than that rotting pile of flesh carelessly stored, gutted, and poked, but that we will always matter. What we’ve created will always be there, for our treasures are stored in heaven, and we will always be loved.

So while death will one day overcome you on earth, it will never become you; for your creator has conquered death, a long time ago before you were born.

New Blog Alert!

Check out this new blog called, "Wine Trips." You can access the blog via the sidebar under "Good Reads" or by clicking on "View Complete Profile." It is a new blog about all things wine, enjoy!

Dead Bodies

Was researching in the office library today when I stumbled upon a box of evidence. I foolishly picked up a stack of pictures and made the unfortunate acquaintance with a deceased old woman whom met a violent end by being stabbed to death. Dead bodies we see in movies and on television are really air-brushed delineations of what real dead bodies look like. Real dead bodies (those of violent deaths anyway) convey no purposeful expression, but display the violence that befell them in its rawest form. Their eyes are usually hauntingly half open, half closed, and their mouths usually bloody and open as if to scream. Different parts of the body other than the areas traumatized usually have curious physiological reactions to the violence. When you see a dead body, nothing is held back or hidden from you, but all is presented to you in its horrifying state, without apologies or explanation.

!Gulp!

Just found out that an attorney in the office is giving me the opportunity to do my first trial tomorrow. He is the coolest person on planet earth right now, but I think I'm going to faint...

Blog Hop

Was blog-hopping today and stumbled upon a blog named, "Gustad Loves Beer." On the most current entry is a picture of giant water bugs and below that entry is another picture of a man eating the giant water bug. I was so impressed that I decided to link his blog on my site (you can find the link to the right of your screen under "Good Reads"). Skimming some of Gustad's past posts I found his adventures of eating, among other things: fried grasshoppers and fried scorpion particularly fascinating. You've gotta check out the pictures, it's horrifying!

I Won! I Won!! I Won!!!

Did my first preliminary hearings today, two of them, a dope case and a concealed weapon case. I was a nervous wreck! My hands were clammy, my feet were frozen, and all the while I was actually sweating. My supervising attorney threw me into a room with two deputy sheriffs and said, "go ahead, interview them," and left. Interview them? wha? After the interview I was sent before a judge they call, "the screamer," because apparently he has a really bad temper and screams at anyone in his way. Lovely. To my pleasant surprise, he was actually really nice to me. The hearings went rather quickly, as we only had two witnesses to put on the stand. At the end of it the defendants were held to answer, and when I broke the news to my colleagues in the office, they threw up their arms and screamed, "you won! you won!!" I was in such a daze the whole day that I didn't think about it in terms of "winning" or "losing", but according to them, I won! and that's a very pleasant feeling to have. I have the best office mates in the world, they are sweet, kind, and genuinely nice people. They were a lot more excited for me than I was for myself, and we went out for a celebratory lunch. *sigh* I am going to miss them very much once the internship ends.